The Only One I See
by Hikaru Morinaga
Summary: Pre Rekka. Eleanora could have given all of this up, could have left it all behind. But she loved them too much to hurt them that way. EleanoraxMarcus, EleanoraxElbert. One shot.


**The Only One I See**

"_Everything changes_

_everything falls apart._

_Can't stop to feel myself losing control_

_but deep in my senses I know_" -- "Stupid" by Sarah McLachlan

-x-

_"Eleanora, this is Elbert of Pherae."_

_Eleanora nodded to her father and curtsied to the young man before her, her eyes pointed towards the ground. She bit her lip; nervousness had set in as she tried to make a good impression for the man who was to become her husband. She got up from the curtsy and looked him over - he looked to be a little older than her fourteen years, but her father insisted it was nothing out of the ordinary. Elbert nodded his head and smiled._

_"It's nice to finally meet you, Eleanora."_

"Eleanora..."

The violet haired woman snapped out of her reverie and into the reality where a fancy banquet was taking place.

"Ah," she said, cheeks tingeing pink. "I beg your pardon." She cast her gaze downward to the almost cleared plate before her, unaware of the conversation taking place.

The Lycian lordling next to Elbert placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned over to whisper something in his ear.

"She's absolutely beautiful, El," he said. "If a bit on the aloof side."

Elbert cast a glance at Eleanora and turned back, saying, "She's just nervous, that's all. Our wedding is tomorrow, you know."

Eleanora wiped her mouth daintily with her cloth napkin, sighing a bit.

_Men and their talk of politics and war_, she thought. _Couldn't they find something else to argue about?_

The voices around her were a blur of noise as she drank from her wine glass. Looking across the room, she spotted one of her fiancée's vassals - he was still only a squire yet - standing there, hands clasped in front of him as he looked at nothing in particular. She saw him shift his gaze over to her and looked away, placing her glass back in its place.

Eleanora dabbed at her mouth again and pushed back her chair - all eyes were on her now as the conversation subsided - and covered her mouth with her gloved hand as if covering up a yawn. The dimly lit dining hall was making her sleepy, though it could have been the wine.

"I believe I shall retire to my room for the night," she said as all the men stood up. She stood as well, and Elbert gave her a look of concern but said nothing except, "Marcus, please escort Eleanora to her room."

The violet haired knight-in-training bowed deeply and offered Eleanora his arm, which she gladly took as they slipped out of the room. She leaned heavily against him, their steps slow and rhythmic as they walked through what felt like a labyrinth of hallways.

They stopped, suddenly, at a dark wooden door in a dimly lit hallway, and Eleanora looked to her escort.

"Lady Eleanora..."

She let go of his arm and turned away from the door, leaned against it and smiled.

"Sir Marcus."

She certainly looked beautiful that night, the way her hair was curled into loose ringlets of violet and half-up; how her dress complemented everything nice about her and disguised all the flaws. The way she leaned against the door and pouted at him made him remember exactly why he fell in love with her.

"You look as if you wish to say something," she said, cutting through his thoughts. He cleared his throat and tried to think of something else, something that had nothing to do with Eleanora.

All hope for that was lost when she wrapped her arms around his neck, needing to stand on tip-toe to do so, and captured his mouth in a tender kiss. His eyes widened in surprise and he blinked thrice; gently, he grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back.

"Lady Eleanora," he said, running a hand through his hair as he did so. "...What are you doing?"

Her hands fell from his neck and rested on his armoured chest instead, eyes downcast.

"Forgive me, Marcus," she whispered, "but I...I can't stop thinking about you."

Marcus raised an eyebrow as he mentally grinned.

"But I thought you loved Lord Elbert?" He tried to sound disappointed in her, but he wasn't sure if he succeeded.

She couldn't look at him.

"The thing is... I _do_ love Elbert. I love him with all of my heart. But I... There are feelings of some kind for you, as well."

"My lady..."

He bent his head, lowered it, and kissed her the same way she did him.

Eleanora, up against the door, opened it and led him inside without breaking the connection they had.

-x-

Eleanora couldn't sleep. She sat up in bed slowly, making sure she didn't wake up her husband, before tossing the covers over to the side enough so she wouldn't get tangled up in them. Lighting the candle on her bedside table, she heard her husband stir in his sleep and froze, finger in the handle of the candle holder.

"Ella?" he asked sleepily, turning over to face her. "Where are you going? You should be in bed, resting."

She picked up the candle as she stood from the bed.

"I thought I heard the baby crying," she fibbed, walking towards the door. "I just want to make sure he's all right."

Elbert muttered something else and went back to sleep. He would wait until morning to question her.

Walking out of the room with the candle in her hand, she made her way to her son's room and sat in the rocking chair nearest the crib; she placed the candle on the table not far from the chair, watching shadows dance in the glow of the flame. The baby groaned in his sleep but didn't cry or wake up, and Eleanora sighed. It was the same dream over and over again, the dream of what happened the night before her wedding to Elbert, and what had gone on between her and Marcus, one of Elbert's recently named knights. She rested her head against the back of the chair and gently rocked back and forth, trying to forget the memories she had labeled forbidden.

Elbert didn't know what had conspired between her and Marcus. She thought it was better that way. She didn't know how he would react to such news and she decided it would be best to never find out.

The baby cried softly, fussing with something in the crib. Eleanora got up from the chair and reached into the crib, picking him up and held him against her chest.

"You can't sleep either, can you?" she whispered, walking back to the chair. "We'll be sleepless together, then."

She shifted him so she could cradle him in her arms. She found out months after the marriage that she was pregnant, and was scared to death over it, worried that it wasn't Elbert's child. To her relief, their son had a head of garish red hair, which she absentmindedly ran a hand through. That was all she would need, to explain to Elbert why their son looked nothing like him and everything like Marcus. (_Though_, she thought, _I could have always told him he took after me_.)

"Ella?"

She stood out of habit, turning to see who called her name, and at such a late hour at that.

It was Elbert.

"Elbert," she said, trying to calm her suddenly pounding heart. "What are you doing up?"

He smiled and walked over to her, gesturing to the infant in her arms. "Checking up on you and Eli."

She smiled weakly, nuzzling her cheek against her son's silken hair. "He _was_ crying."

"Over what?"

"Well," she said, looking for something in the crib to use, "his foot got caught in his blanket and he couldn't get it off. I think he just wanted to bond with me."

Elbert took the baby from her and cradled him, chuckling when Eliwood latched onto a finger.

Eleanora could have given all of this up, could have left it all behind.

She loved them too much to hurt them that way.

-x-

"Marcus, we must talk."

The full-fledged knight put his spear down and wiped his brow as Eleanora came closer, excess skirt slack in hand.

"What about, my lady?"

She stopped short of him and dropped her skirts. "About us."

Marcus raised an eyebrow. "What about us?"

She sighed and walked over to the stone bench in the courtyard under the shade of an apple tree. He leaned against the fruit tree, arms at his sides.

"...We cannot keep doing this," she said. "I... I feel guilty. I love Elbert, I love my son... I can't hurt them anymore. This...this has to stop. Right now."

Marcus inhaled deeply and then exhaled.

"You're not hurting them."

Eleanora was practically in tears.

"You are not my husband, so why do I do this with you? I can't love you, Marcus. I married Elbert, the man I fell in love with was _him_. So why am I hurting him and myself by doing this?"

Marcus said nothing.

"There is one thing I ask of you."

"...Yes, my lady?"

She looked up at him, her words firm. "I want you to stop loving me."

Marcus nodded. "...As you say, Lady Eleanora."

"In exchange for that, I want you to protect my son with your life. Dedicate your love to him instead of me."

She stood and walked out of the courtyard before Marcus could say anything to sway her.

-x-

"...I'm not quite sure of what to make of this, Eleanora."

She sat in the elegantly crafted arm chair in the sitting room wringing her hands. Elbert was standing and staring at the wall, hands clasped behind his back.

"I'm sorry, Elbert," she whispered, eyes on her hands. "There is nothing more I can say."

"You're right," he replied. "There is nothing more you can say."

There was tension and silence in the room so thick Eleanora swore she could cut through it with a knife. From the corner of her eye she watched her husband, trying to judge his facial expressions.

"...I wish you would have told me this before, Ella. Why now?"

She sighed.

"I was afraid. It's been eating away at me for years. I figured it best you hear it from me and not Marcus. He is not to blame."

Elbert walked over to her and rested his hand on hers.

"I'm disappointed and angry that...that you would do something like this, but... I have to forgive you. I love you, Ella, and I never want you to doubt that."

So he _was_ angry with her, and he _was_ disappointed with her. That was exactly how she imagined he would act when she told him, that was exactly the reason why she put it off for three years.

But even though he knew, even though he was angry and disappointed, he still undoubtedly loved her. She had heard stories of women cheating on their husbands and never being seen again, or the marriages ending in a messy separation ritual that usually left the woman alone and without anything. Elbert was not like those other men, she knew.

She knew she had hurt him and it would take time for him to get over it. She would help him get over it.

She half smiled. "I never did doubt your love for me, and that is why chose you over Marcus. You can see how much I love you, my lord husband, because if I didn't I would have continued the affair and you would have never known. Only love for you could have caused guilt like this. You're the only one I see, you're the only one I could _love_ like this."

Elbert caressed her cheek and kissed her forehead.

"...I'm glad you told me, Ella, and I'm happy to know where you stand."

He turned to walk out the door, and Eleanora stood and reached out to him.

"You don't have to tell Marcus," she said as he stopped in the door way. "I already told him."

Elbert turned to look at his wife. "And what did he say?"

Eleanora smiled. "He loves you like a brother and said he'd dedicate his love to protecting Eliwood."

Elbert had no idea what to do except smile. "Yes, I think that would be a good idea."

They walked out of the room together, arms linked.

Eleanora felt as light as a feather once the burden was lifted. And she was relieved and happy.

-x-

**Author's Notes:** Thank you, Kitten Kisses, for pointing out typos and how to fix the ending.

**Disclaimer:** Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken belongs to Intelligent Systems/Nintendo. "Stupid" belongs to Sarah McLachlan.


End file.
